


scare away the dark

by theglitterati



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Cutting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Scars, Self-Harm, Yuuri and Victor are in this but not majorly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23502940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theglitterati/pseuds/theglitterati
Summary: Otabek refuses to go in the onsen in Hasetsu. Yuri finds out why.
Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Comments: 9
Kudos: 154
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	scare away the dark

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the eponymous Passenger song.

“Thank you, Mr. Katsuki, that was delicious.” Yuuri’s father smiled as he cleared away Otabek’s now-empty pork cutlet bowl. 

Yuri nudged his boyfriend. “Told you it was good.”

“You were right,” Otabek said. To Yuuri, he added, “Your father is an excellent chef.”

Yuuri beamed with pride. “Thank you.”

“I’m so full,” Victor whined from where he lay on the floor, using Makkachin as a pillow. “Can we go soak in the onsen now?”

“Yes, darling,” Yuuri said. “Otabek, do you want to come with us? And Yuri, too, of course!” It was their first night in Hasetsu, and Otabek had yet to enjoy all of Yu-Topia’s amenities.

“I would love to,” Otabek said. “Let me go get my swimsuit.”

“Actually, you don’t wear a swimsuit in the onsen,” Yuuri explained.

“You don’t?”

“Nope. I know it can be a little strange for foreigners, but don’t worry! People keep their eyes to themselves.”

“Um—”

“Plus, I think it’s past closing time anyway, so it will just be us in there.”

Otabek said nothing. Yuri could practically feel his discomfort. “Can’t he just wear his bathing suit if he wants to?” Yuri asked.

“Well, no,” Yuuri said slowly. “It’s a bath, not a swimming pool. I’m sorry, we just don’t allow it.”

“It’s alright,” Otabek clipped. “Maybe I just won’t—”

“What’s the problem?” Victor asked, sitting up. He looked at Otabek with curiosity. “Do you have a weird mole or something?”

“No!” Otabek shouted. Yuri, Yuuri, and Victor fell silent. The only sound was Otabek breathing heavily.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have yelled.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it,” Victor said easily. “Yuri yells at us constantly.”

“It’s our fault,” Yuuri added. “We shouldn’t have pressured you. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” Yuri stayed quiet; he couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Thank you,” Otabek said shortly. “I think I’d like to go up to my room now, if that is okay.”

“Of course,” Yuuri said. Otabek nodded once, then left the table and headed for the stairs.

Yuri waited until he heard the door close. “What the fuck is wrong with you two?” he hissed. “Why did you upset him like that?”

“I’m really sorry, Yurio,” Yuuri said. “I had no idea it would be a problem. Did I say something wrong?”

Yuri realized he expected him to answer. “How should I know?”

“You should know,” Victor said. “You should go talk to him.”

Yuri frowned. “You don’t think he’d rather be alone?”

“You’re his boyfriend,” Yuuri said gently. “You should be there for him. Now go, and tell him we’re sorry.”

Yuri nodded, and hurried upstairs.

He slid the door to Otabek’s room open an inch. “It’s just me. Can I come in?”

Otabek sat on the edge of the bed, fists clenched. “Yes.”

Yuri closed the door and sat down next to him. “Those assholes told me to say sorry for pushing you.” He paused. “I can beat them up if you want.”

Otabek shook his head. “No. It’s alright. They didn’t do anything wrong.” He sighed. “It’s me who is the problem.”

“You’re not a problem.” Yuri had never seen Otabek like this before; normally, he was so confident. “You don’t have to go in if you don’t want to. It’s just a stupid bath.” A very,  _ very  _ relaxing stupid bath, but he wasn’t going to say that now.

“I know,” Otabek said. “But there’s still something I need to tell you. I should have told you before.”

Yuri tilted his head. “What is it?”

Otabek opened his mouth, then shut it again. Then he frowned. “I’m just going to show you,” he finally said. He stood and began undoing his belt.

“Whoa!” Yuri said. “Uh…” It’s not like he hadn’t put his hands below Otabek’s belt before, but they had never been naked together.

“I have underwear on,” Otabek assured him. He unzipped his jeans and pulled them down to his knees, then sat back down beside Yuri.

It wasn’t hard to see why he didn’t want to go in the onsen. Both of his thighs were all but covered in scars, horizontal lines that could only have one explanation. Yuri was relieved when he noticed that at least none of them were fresh.

“I moved to the States alone when I was thirteen,” Otabek said. “I was away from my family. I was training five or six hours per day, and trying to keep up with school in a language I barely understood. I was miserable.”

His fists were still clenched at his sides. Yuri rested a hand over one of them.

“I had to wear t-shirts at the rink, and shorts in the summer. I only did it where I could hide it.”

“Did anyone catch you?”

Otabek laughed humorlessly. “Yes. JJ. He walked in on me in the bathroom at the rink when I lived in Canada. I was terrified that he was going to tell his parents, but he never said anything.”

_ Maybe he should have, _ Yuri thought. “When did you stop doing it?”

“I told my parents everything when I moved back to Almaty. I was so… tired. I couldn’t keep living like that.

“They understood. They got me a therapist, who I still see.” He turned to look at Yuri. “I promise I don’t do it anymore. I don’t  _ want _ to do it anymore.”

“I believe you,” Yuri said.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. When I used to cut” — the word stung Yuri — “I didn’t think anyone would ever see the scars. I didn’t think anyone would ever want to see me like this.”

“Beka—”

Otabek hung his head. “I feel disgusted when I look at them,” he whispered. “I would understand if you did, too.”

“I would never,  _ never _ think that—” Yuri sputtered. “Nothing about you is disgusting. Otabek, you are… perfect to me. This doesn’t change anything.”

“Okay,” was all Otabek said. He didn’t lift his head.

Yuri bit his lip. How could he make Otabek understand that this didn’t change his feelings for him, or how beautiful he thought Otabek was? He thought hard for a minute before getting an idea.

He lowered his hand over Otabek’s thigh, hovering just above the skin. “Can I touch you?” he asked.

Otabek’s eyes shot up. “You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” Yuri assured him. “Please.”

Otabek nodded shakily. “Okay.”

Yuri ran his hand gently over the marks, from Otabek’s knee to the edge of his boxers, then down the other leg. The scars were bumpy, unlike the other parts of Otabek that Yuri knew to be silky smooth. But they still just felt like Otabek, just another part of him.

When a drop hit the back of Yuri’s hand, he realized Otabek was crying. “Oh, Beka.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Don’t be sorry,” Yuri said fiercely. He hugged Otabek hard, letting him bury his face in his shoulder. He held him until the crying stopped.

“Thank you,” Otabek mumbled, not letting Yuri go.

“For what?”

“For being you.” 

Yuri smiled into Otabek’s hair, planting a kiss on the top of his head. Then he pulled back to look at Otabek’s face. “Hey, if it was only the two of us there, would you want to go in the onsen? No Victor and no piggy?”

“I guess, but—”

Yuri jumped up. “Give me two seconds. Don’t worry. I won’t tell them anything.”

He ran down through the inn and showers and outside to the onsen. Apparently, left alone in there, Victor and Yuuri had decided to make out. They jumped apart when Yuri slammed the door.

“Get out,” he barked.

“What?”

“Get out. Me and Otabek are going in alone.”

“But—”

“No ‘but!’ Out!!!”

Victor and Yuuri exchanged a look, then hastily gathered their towels and exited the bath.

Yuri hurried back upstairs. Otabek was just buttoning up his jeans. He smiled when Yuri came in.

“Onsen is all ours,” Yuri told him. “Come with me?”

He held out his hand. Otabek took it.

“Lead the way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me at kyrstin.tumblr.com!


End file.
